During my long run this morning, I couldn’t get an image from my doctor’s office out of my head. Ever been to the doctor’s office or the hospital? I have. Usually, it’s because a workout (or home improvement project) went horribly awry and I need to get something re-attached.
Invariably, there is a helpful person who points to a chart like the one below and asks me how my pain is:
This chart is great because it helps the medical staff take the subjectivity out of the pain management process.
About mile 10, I began to think that it’s about time that runners and athletes had something similar for rating our workouts. But smiley faces just aren’t cutting it for me. Perhaps it’s because they’re too juvenile or hairless. I need something primal. Something with facial hair. Runners need something more than the words “fine” or “great” to describe our workouts. You know, when that well-meaning spouse asks, “How did your workout go today?” You should be able to proudly point to the chart and state, “I set a new PR!!”
Behold, I give you the monkey scale:
Workout Monkey #1: That workout was terrible! What was I thinking!? Bring on the monkey suit.
Workout Monkey #2: Not so good. I’d better put in a few more miles or it’s back to the organ grinder for me.
Workout Monkey #3: I got the workout done, but I’m not quitting my day job. Just monkeying around today.
Workout Monkey #4: See my monkey thumb? I rocked that workout! Yeah, I’m the Alpha monkey.
Workout monkey #5: That hurt! But it was worth it. 30 minutes of agony, a lifetime of glory. How do you like them bananas!
Workout Monkey #6: New PR! I’m King Kong Baby! [CAUTION: Use sparingly.]
It was at this point in my run this morning that I realized that I had bonked and my severe lack of carbohydrates contributed to the making of this post.
DISCLAIMER: No monkeys were harmed in the making of this post and any similarities to monkeys, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
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